Thoughts of a murderer..

Its been several mths since I blogged..The reason being laziness mostly..To get my thoughts moving,I've come upon an idea of blogging down my previously written articles mostly published in college mags..Hope they serve as an impetus to relieve my clogged mind..


THOUGHTS OF A MURDERER
Published : Academia 2003 ,(Omkar Hajirnis Sem VI)




The wind swished through the window.He got up,closed the window and sat on his bed.The clock struck two at night.Everything was still now,absolutely still.Nothing moved except the hands over the old clock hung on the dead wall.He got up to fetch a glass of water.The candle shimmered as he held it delicately.He came back and sat on his cot which creeked under his weight.This was the fourth consecutive night that he failed to sleep.An overdose of pills had no effect.He sat still on his bed submerged in his thoughts.
Suddenly he noticed he was breathing heavily.Through the dark corners of his mind came out an array of scenes as they flashed before his eyes.
It had happened four days back.He remembered it vividly.A slim shadow came walking towards him on a lonely road.It was raining heavily.The plump rain-drops were dripping on his face;as he removed his handkerchief to wipe them off when he suddenly noticed he was sweating.He shivered as she came nearer.His hands underneath the coat were trembling.But deep inside,he was determined,He knew he could do it,there was no option left.He had to kill her.She knew too much.
She came closer and her neck shone in the twilight.She was walking as gracefully as ever.Then she came to a halt,almost four paces away from him.Both of them stayed still.Nothing moved,their eyes met.The war was on.But this time it had to end.He had enough of it.He removed a long slender.shining knife hidden underneath his coat and in it went cutting the woman's abdomen in and out.When he removed it ,blood dripped like water.A shiver ran down his spine.He took to his heels leaving the body drenched in the pool of blood.
That was it.Since then it was four days.He had run away to a dilapidated cottage on a top of a hill away from the city.He hadn't slept;nor ate properly.A plethora of thoughts wandered through his mind.He was confused.He was perplexed.He couldnot believe it had happened.He shrieked for hours.Nothing pacified him.Everything seemed to be lost.He looked at his hands,the same hands which had murdered a person.He screamed;he wept;he moaned and he howled.But all in vain.It was all too difficult to digest.Sometimes he felt like getting up and surrendering himself and at the very next moment felt like running away,far away from 'his' world.The thought of ending up his life also occurred to him.But he knew he had to do something fast,before the cops ended up at his doorstep.
He got up and opened the door to get a fresh breath of life.He looked outside in the dark.Up above the moon had come out and beneath the hill ,far away he had a panoramic view of the glittering lights of the city.So much was happening there.Nobody cared for others because they simply didn't have the time.And here he was ,far away from everyone craving for existence.He had had too much of it,Also it wasn't entirely his fault.And after all it was just another murder in the minds of people ,just like thousands that occur everyday in the world.A strange kind of feeling was now gripping him.He had finally succeeded in silencing his conscience.He felt lighter.He walked out.He had entered a new world...A world of crime,murder and dishonesty.